Many women feel difficulties trying to talk to their partner. When this happens, the woman feels that the man is shutting her out, and the man feels that he is not understood. A usual question is posed: is he being honest about his feelings? Generally, when women want to find men they do not think about the importance of it. However, women do not realize a thing very often. Men want to talk. Under certain conditions, they can talk all night long. In despair, men want to speak out. So, the main question is how to make a man being honest with you?
Real men are afraid of not being accepted, they are terrified of being laughed at if they show themselves. If a man feels that you condemn him - he would not speak. Not to judge a partner means to let him say what he thinks, and just want to hear it. This does not mean that you shouldn’t have your own opinion and express it. In order to be frank with you, a man should feel that you accept him as he is, and not how you want to see him. Be patient.
A man is a bunch of contradictions, changing at different moments of his life, even at different times of the day. Do not be afraid to let him show himself from all sides. He would feel free and talk with you with pleasure.
You should be honest, too. Both partners should be open up to each other. Everyone has problems, fears and secrets.
It is just amazing that many men feel wildly alone. In the patriarchal society, they are taught that it is humiliating to share their feelings; they also do not receive any feedback from men. Your sincere and positive feedback is simply necessary. With the help of it, your partner would feel that there is a person who understands him and would be even franker with you.
Men start shutting you out when they feel that the "conversation" is approaching, which turns into a long list of past grievances and mistakes. When a man is afraid that his words could be misinterpreted, misunderstood, transferred to others, or thrown into his face in future, he cannot be frank with you. The only way to step over this communication trap is to understand that whatever happened in the past, whatever he said and did, you were together. Any relationship is a dance. There are no only bad or only good. In fact, it is better to understand the role he plays.
Take responsibility and find your possible contribution to what happened. This does not mean that you have to blame yourself. Just look at the situation, concentrate on what he did right, not wrong. If you want, you can take your diary and write a list of what you’ve got from this relationship, and what you gave. Pay attention to the moments when you were also imperfect, and when you both changed. It may turn out that forgiving is easy. As well as to understand that what seemed to be true, a year ago now looks different. Concentrate on the present. Real communication requires the ability to live the present and allow the past to stay in the past.
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