Why Do Men Pull Away
By: Kymmie Krieger
Sometimes it’s actually easier to read good ol’ Fido’s mind than our man’s. Right? Whether you just met the love of your life last week or the two of you have been together for what seems like forever, from time to time, men tend to take a step back, sidestep, or pull away all together.
Since we don't always understand their reasoning, this can leave our over-dramatic, female minds racing over past events, conversations, and actions, and we end up asking ourselves the age-old question: why do men pull away?
We’ve all been there. So, while we’ll never be experts at understanding men or what's going on in “Man-land,” here are a few simple personas that guys sometimes slip into which signal that a “time-out” or M.I.A status is on the way.
“Need Space” Nathan
Though women are from Mars and men are from Venus, we are all still human, and understanding men means understanding the need to be alone from time to time.
We all need a break, right? This doesn't mean that he has lost interest in you, so don’t flip into panic mode just yet. It just means that sometimes your man wants to remember his “pre-you” life, which is totally normal.
Remember the first time you laid eyes on him? Did you notice a different twinkle in his eye and a certain swagger in his step? Of course, you did. That’s why you were attracted to him.
Does this mean he is less of a man now when he is with you? Of course not! He's simply become a different man (and probably for the best). However, it’s only natural for him to have an internal desire to reconnect with his “old self.”
So, embrace and encourage it – rather than griping and smothering him. In the beginning, his ability to be “all man” was sexy, so from time to time, give him space to do his thing! It’ll reignite the spark between the two of you like never before.
He’s scared to death but doesn’t want to admit it. Sounds like a man, right? It's difficult understanding men when they put on their “I’m-in-total-control” suit and then turn and run at the slightest whisper of the “c-word” (commitment - shhhhh).
Whether you’re too pushy or he has serious mother issues, it's almost a guarantee that at some point in almost any relationship the man is going to spook (yep, just like a prize stallion) and attempt to distance himself.
It may be right away or a year down the road, but when a man becomes too comfortable, he starts reliving his glory days in his mind, and his feet tend to follow.
The solution is simple. Give him space, and when you have the opportunity, gently remind him just how lucky he is to have such a sweet and sassy gal like you around!
“Stressed Out” Scott
I’m going to let you in on a big secret – men stink at communicating! Are you surprised?
Ok, probably not. Since two-way communication is usually lacking in our male counterparts, it can be difficult to realize when your man is stressed to the max (because it’d just be too easy for him to open his dang mouth and tell you).
Naturally, when we start wondering why do men pull away, we run through all the different scenarios in our heads of what we have done, how it could be our fault, and how we can fix it. It’s just a woman thing!
But the truth is, everybody gets a little stressed from time to time, and it's just not easy for your man to tell you that. So, if you notice him pulling away, see if there’s any way you can lighten his load a bit.
Even the little things can make a big difference (i.e. pick up his dry cleaning, cook him dinner, make him a care package, etc.). This doesn’t mean berate him with questions about what’s wrong and stress him out even more!
Remember, he just needs a little reassurance, help, and TLC.
The thrill of the chase is gone! And now he’s completely lost. It’s always easier to point the finger at him, but sometimes, we need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we may be part of the problem.
Yikes, right? But think about it…why do men pull away? Well, all men have a carnal desire to chase and conquer, and obviously, you brought that out in him. Kudos to you! But now that he has you, the challenge or “chase” is over. The spark is fading. He’s bored. Got it?
So, if you believe this is the case, it’s time to spice up your relationship. Don’t hold back! Get a little wild, crazy, and spontaneous, and watch him perk up (literally)!
Men…can’t live with them, can’t live without them. So, don’t waste hours asking yourself, “Why do men pull away?” Simply put on your “Action Allie” suit if you see Nathan, Tom, Scott, or Brad heading in your direction.
All you have to do is subtly remind him why he fell in love with you, and the rest is a piece of cake. It isn't always easy understanding men, but once you learn their lingo, it’s smooth sailing.
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